The chipped drawer
I love buying second hand stuff on carousell. To me, it's a sustainable and cost effective way of life 😂
I recently made a deal to get a chest of drawers and I chose to just rent a van with the driver without manpower, as they provide free trolley. I thought "I can do it, and I will be more careful than the mover". The item was of good quality and I didn't want any damage. I have had some bad experience with movers treating the items like they are not theirs (rightfully so).
So I decided I would handle the item myself from the seller's unit to the van and from the van up to my house, with a trolley.
Long story short, the item fell down inside the van just a minute after we drove off, and was chipped at multiple places. I accidentally hit it against the wall one more time when going from the lift to my house.
After bringing it up to my unit, returned the trolley and paid the driver, I sat in front of it, and almost felt like crying. I was just sad. I wish I could have just engaged the moving service.
I was angry at the driver for not telling me about the risk. He is experienced afterall. I was angry at myself for thinking I could do a more careful job despite having zero experience. I didn't even know the drawers should be taped so that it doesn't slide open during moving. That brought me to a moment when I needed to push the trolley down a small slope. The drawers slid out and the whole thing was wobbling off the trolley. I struggled to keep them together. Someone saw and came to help. Imagine if he wasn't there, the damage could have been worse. He even helped to carry it up the van.
I was suddenly reminded of the seller who kindly asked her partner to help me push and place it on the trolley seeing that I was all by myself. She even let me go without paying first seeing I was kinda all over the place.
I was reminded of the van driver stopping the vehicle to help me wrap up the drawers to prevent it from falling again.
I was reminded of the friendly convo I had with the driver who also worked as an interior designer, a business owner and needed to roll up his sleeve to do the job to keep the business afloat. He also let me go up without paying first because I didn't have the payment app in my phone.
If there is nothing you feel you can do, taking a deep breath is enough...
So I looked at the chest of drawers again. The chipped parts still pained my heart but I also saw the good parts. I came to acknowledge how nicely it fit in that corner of my room. I took a deep breath (yes, if there is nothing you feel you can do, taking a deep breath is enough).
"How can I fix this?" I asked.
I messaged a contact for advice. He is very knowledgeable about woodworking and loves making his own furniture. There I was, fast in the fixer mode.
I went to the hardware store to buy what I needed.
When we pause and practice gratitude, we'll see things in a different light, more forgiving and more resourceful.
That spark of gratitude really allowed me to see the better side of things, and geared me towards things I can control. And guess what, I am now feeling more empowered. A chipped furniture wouldn't bother me so much anymore. When you have the skills and tools to fix a problem, you are naturally less concerned or affected by the problem. A carpenter wouldn't blink an eye seeing a chipped part because he knows exactly what to do. I guess the same applies for the mind. It is also a pleasant surprise for me to get over a situation like today this fast - which I used to get hung up about for days, blaming myself for making the wrong decision. I guess the mind work the past few years does pay off 😅
Anyway, I wrote this down just to share, it is easy to get lost in the imperfect and unfortunate sides of things. But when we pause and practice gratitude, we'll see things in a different light, more forgiving and more resourceful.
Now the chipped corners are my daily reminders of that, instead of just a painful mistake. Encountering another chipped corner elsewhere wouldn't affect me the same way either.
The same applies for a painful memory, or recurring anxiety. If we know how to address it, it becomes a healthy part of us reminding us of beautiful lessons about who we are and what we can do.